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September 17, 2008I've been married to a good-looking womanizer for more than twelve years and we have an eleven-year old daughter. My husband had several women in the past but now he seems to be getting more involved this time. He brought home this Chinese girl while my daughter and I were on a 5-week vacation to my parents' home.
This girl left the kitchen dirty. I also found broken wineglasses, empty bottles of wine, spices and herbs in the kitchen, a toothbrush in the bathroom, disinfectant, a negative result of a pregnancy test kit, and unused feminine napkins.
My husband sent her home the day before we arrived but they were too careless not to tidy the apartment. I also found three kissmarks on his chest.
I still love my husband. I want to keep him and save our marriage. I want to protect my daughter from the truth but he has drained me of all emotions. How can I keep going? How can I stop them in this forbidden relationship? How can I keep a man who doesn't know the word "change"? I am hurt..
Once a cheat always a cheat. You should love yourself and your daughter more to realize you deserve better than that.
-NmD!
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Horaayy..there are 14 comment(s) for me so far ;)
you are in an open relationship and just don't realize it yet…. wake up
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Negotiate boundaries. E.g., clean the house before you get back. Stay faithful and let you check up on him like a hawk for six consecutive months for every year.
Whatever it takes so that you're not miserable staying together for the sake of your daughter.
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get rid of him .He is no good . He doesn't know what ONE in a marraige means & he doesn't love the wife or the girl b/c he doesn't no how!!!!!!!!!!
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Once a cheat always a cheat. You should love yourself and your daughter more to realize you deserve better than that.
-NmD!
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You can't change him. Dump him and get someone worthy of your love and loyality. I would never put up with a man bringing some skank in my home or otherwise. He is just going to keep doing this and get bolder and bolder as time passes. You will be suffering for the rest of your life if you stay with him.
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Wow! You really must love this man very much. Either that, or you're afraid of ending up single and alone and with a daughter to take care of. Don't you think you're worth more than this? Your husband treats you like this because he knows for sure that he will still keep you - no matter what.
I guess only you can decide what is best for your daughter and yourself but one thing is for sure - there is no way you can run from the truth. It would be far better to accept it now than wait for the whole situation to blow up in your face.
Good luck!
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oh wow i would leave him but since you want to stay i say counceling or stay and put up with it .
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Don't even try to save something is not up to you to save. Yo must have pride as a human being and not lower yourself to a sumbag like your husband, just try to think that any man that cheats once will always do, even if he stops seeing this girl you say he will find more and you can't just tolerate that.
Divorce the bastard, go to a nice long vacation with your daughter and get a lot of new clothes, that always help me..
toodles and good luck with everything
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Unless you are looking to be in a polygamist relationship, END IT!!! Your husband has disrespected YOU and YOUR DAUGHTER! Don't teach your daughter it is OK to be second best. Leave him and start over. If it is not possible, start college classes and improve yourself while keeping "him" (that sorry excuse for a man) in the back of your mind until YOU are ready to leave him HIGH and DRY!!!!
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I have been left by a "man' and know it takes resources to come back as a strong woman!!! Student loans are free for now and you don't pay them back until you finish or quit college(in America.)
I love my husband too, but if he did that crap, he would NOT be back in the house!!! ESPECIALLY not in front of my daughter!!!! No WAY would I do that and tell her it is OK to stay with a loser who treats her like shit. Even IF that LOSER makes her happy. I would want the best for her, and that wouldn't include a chinese hooker in the house!!!!!!
unfortunately i think they did not care if u found out, and unless he wants to make changes there isn't going to be any. u can't keep going in a relationship like this, it will destroy your self esteem, and u will soon not have any feelings for him. he would have to want to make the changes, and how insulting of the other woman to deliberately leave things of hers u would find, she is sending u a message that she is in the marriage, and she wants u to know it. sometimes we do have to leave a marriage, and get away from that person even if it hurts us.
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You say you want to keep your husband, Do you think you have him to keep? I don't. You say you love your husband. How can you love someone that totally disrespects you and his marriage vows? Your daughter will find out and she will either be hurt because daddy is disrespecting you or worse she will grow up thinking this behavior is ok. You say you are hurt. Well what hurts more? his cheating and leaving you lonely or you leaving his sorry ass and being lonely for a short time until you find someone that will treat you right.
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Try to ignore and see if it works.
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wow..u let it get way too out of hand,so theres a slim chance of fixing it now..it sounds like he has no respect for u or ur child, considering all the things u mentioned,why would u even wanna be with him
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get rid of him cos sounds to me that marriage aint worthsaving id have been out of there years ago
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